40: The Big Investment

I have wanted to create a blog for a while now.    About six months and seven days to be exact.  In October of last year, I began the process by taking all the "right" steps to embark on my little journey:  I set a goal, created action steps, brainstormed ideas, developed a purpose and audience, researched other blogs, thought about it, blah, blah, blah.  And then like many wannabe writers, I came to a halt. I procrastinated. I stalled. I stopped. I thought about it some more.  And then I stalled some more.  And then I found excuses not to blog like being too busy, or feeling vulnerable or self-doubt or it's too much darned work.  

But then this cool little thing happened.  I had a conversation about hopes and dreams.  And goals.   It started with one of our district's elementary buildings and the work they are doing with hope building.  Then it carried over into a conversation with Jason about our hopes and dreams.   And life and what we choose to invest our time in, particularly now that I was approaching what my oldest son so affectionately refers to as "middle age."  Hmmmm.......that gave me the firm nudge that I oh so needed to get back to this whole idea of writing.  

And so here I am on the day I turn the big 4-0 with this inaugural post.  I am going to try to be true to my own self in this venture.  I am not going to call this thing a "journey."  I'm definitely not one of those sparkly contestants on The Bachelor, although I have been known to appreciate a good cheer routine.  For the time being, let's say my hope is to develop my insight through the writing process and learn and grow with anyone who chooses to read my writing.  More on topics to be covered in a subsequent post...right now, back to 4-0.

This morning I woke up and I found yet another conspicuous hair in one of those less than desirable locations that I needed to pluck.  As I was in the process of groaning about that, I noticed that my typical squinting wasn't working to see the miniscule thing well enough to grab it with my super-strength tweezers.  "Holy cow," I thought to myself, "do I now need bifocals?!?!"  That happens around this time, right?  Bifocals, extra hairs, belly fat, droopy eyelids.  What's next, menopause?  Wow.

These aren't the only age-related changes I have noticed lately. The other day I drove through Jimmy John's and the college-aged guy handed me my sandwich and in a super perky voice shouted, "Thanks, Ma'am!"  Wow again.  That took politeness to a whole new level.  He thinks I'm not only old but also deaf.  Do I really look that old?  I may technically be old enough to be the guy's mother but really,  I don't feel that old.

Age is just a number, right?  And with that number, I come back to my hopes and dreams and what I want to invest my time in.  Despite the hairs, the squinting and lagging metabolism, life really does get better every year.

A very good friend once gifted me the book The Girls From Ames and in it the author describes friendship and references the idea that if you are friends with someone by the time you are 40, you will most likely be friends with them for life.  Now that I am here,  I really get that.  

Being a mom and watching my kids grow and turn into the amazing little people they have become is an incredible gift.  Being married to one of the funniest people I know and the most incredible father is such a blessing.  Family is great.  I really get that.

Knowing my profession and how to advocate for kids and families by using my voice rather than remaining silent is my passion.  I really get that.

Searching for God and faith and what that all means in the big picture of life has come full circle.  I really get that.  

So tonight I end by coming back to that word invest, which means to involve or engage, especially emotionally  (Merriam-Webster Dictionary).  And as my 40th birthday comes to a close, these are the tangibles that I want to engage in and I really get:  friendship, family, my work, and my faith.  And with that, the big 4-0 is pretty grand.